Acknowledgment of emotions and feelings is important. But allowing HOW
someone else feels or WHAT someone else says to affect how YOU feel about
yourself and your life is not necessary and is counterproductive.
You are always the master of your moments.
There is a difference with acknowledging YOUR
feelings about a situation (it is natural to
feel sadness if a situation you thought would be positive, has turned
out to be negative) from allowing what someone
else says or does to determine your
feelings. One (the first one) comes from
within, the second comes from without (outside of you).
The place of power and happiness in our lives is living
from OUR OWN feelings - those that originates WITHIN
us. It might feel like a fine distinction until you become practiced in this. But it is an important distinction to make
and focus on, it is one that is LIFE
CHANGING!
So every time you feel something..
look within to see where this is originating. From outside circumstances or behaviors of those around
you? Or from your deeper
self? When you look, ask the question "where is this feeling coming
from?" And then don't seek
to answer it in your mind... quiet all the chatter in your mind and listen to see what answer arises on it's
own. Again .. this will take practice if you aren't used to doing this. The more you do it,
the more natural it will
become. Soon you will reach a point where someone else's behavior will minimally impact how you feel.
Your "bounce-back" will be quick, spontaneous and will override all other feelings.
It is fine distinction, but one we must make. We are NOT
taught to do this in our culture, we are taught be
tossed about willy-nilly by the actions of those around
us so we need to re-LEARN this (it was natural before we were taught
to do otherwise as we grew as children) and practice
it.
You can do this, it does take attention to looking to see
where the source of the feelings is.. outside of you or
within you. In truth any outside of you situation does
not affect your feelings... it creates an additional step . it goes like this:
Outer circumstance (person or situation)
---> read by us ---> we INTERNALIZE
that situation, make it our
own (when really it belongs to someone/something other than us) ---> Once internalized our feelings ARISE
from WITHIN. Where we
"break" or stop this process is in the step of internalizing, making them
our own".
True feelings, OUR feelings do not begin with an outer
circumstance. They originate in our core/center.
You've heard the phrase "happy for no reason"? This refers to no outer circumstance... the happy just originates (bubbles up) from
within. Sadness can do this too. We can suddenly find
ourselves feeling sad for "no apparent reason". All
feelings can bubble up for no apparent reason. It is MOST important at these times to HONOR our
feelings and express them. What we are taught to do and tend to do .. is to
LOOK FOR AN OUTSIDE CAUSE, then LINK THE FEELING to that. In many cases it is an inaccurate link. We do
not need to know WHY we feel a
particular way, just THAT WE DO.. then honor (or express) that feeling.
It is dishonoring our emotional body system to deny the
origin of feelings that come from within and try to pin
them on an outer circumstance. Our emotional body is as
real as our physical body and needs to be expressed and honored for what it does - generate emotions.
It takes practice and conscious awareness to remember to
do so. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes
until it becomes second nature to you.
As you do, you will feel much more peaceful, joyful,
filled with love and centered.
Nothing external to you has any power over you.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
© Amy Flynn, All
rights reserved. For reprint permission, please email amy(at)allabout-energy.com. You may excerpt as long as you
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